Who’s Your Daddy

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For many of us, when we get sober, connecting with a higher power seems absolutely daunting. Whether it is because we do not believe in one, do no know one or simply lost touch with the one(s) we had to begin with.  Whatever reason, giving our lives over to something greater than ourselves is detrimental to getting and keeping sobriety. So… who’s your daddy (momma)?

While in our addiction/alcoholism, we relied on our own understanding and this didn’t work out for us. We made hasty and unreliable decisions. Our decisions may have seemed well thought out or well-planned but for some reason, we ended up in a place of incomprehensible demoralization. What now? Where do we go? Where do we turn? The answer is to something other than ourselves. This doesn’t mean giving up your logical sense; it means turning it over to a power who knows better. Any power, any being, any group conscience that you know has your best interest at heart; it lead and guide you into a place of serenity.

This idea, we know, sounds entirely vague and there is a good reason for it. The concept of a higher power is not one size fits all. If the higher power does not fit, you must acquit (we’re so so sorry about that pun). With the vast amount of religions and faith based practices in our ever evolving world, how could one possibly be expected to be given a carbon copy? Much like choosing a sponsor (someone who has what you want), choosing a higher power has to fit your needs. And guess what! Your higher power can change and it can evolve as you do in your recovery. This evolution can possibly come from your growth and from your understanding of yourself and your higher power. Whichever power you subscribe to now, may be a more comprehensible version of itself as time passes. Do not feel that your decision is as set in stone as the Ten Commandments.

Let’s ponder together about YOUR higher power:

  • Am I agnostic/atheist because I’m angry at my current higher power (think this one through because the one you have may be a good fit and you simply have to make an amends to him/her)?
  • Was my HP (higher power) pinned to me at birth?
  • What do I need from my HP?
  • What does a power greater than myself look like? Is he/she/it all knowing?  Does my HP have my best interest at heart? Can I TRUST my HP? Can my HP trust me?
  • What does LOVE look like to me (Wowza.. big question – What does unconditional LOVE mean to you? Where can you find that)?

Write out your answers to these questions and think them over, talk them through with someone and ask them who their HP is.

HP’s come in all shapes and sizes. Below is a list of the HP’s we’ve come across. Maybe you can borrow one for now. Our intent is to show you how different everyone’s HP is and how this doesn’t have to be a stressful decision. Happy hunting!

  • God (the Christian God)
  • The Prophet Muhammad
  • Mother Earth
  • The Ocean
  • The Universe
  • AA as a Whole
  • The Human Connection
  • The Force (yes – The Force from Star Wars)
  • Gautama Buddah (more precisely his teachings)
  • Someone’s Horse
  • A Doorknob
  • Confucius
  • The Goddess
  • Dayside/Nightside (vampires)
  • Jesus (the son of God)
  • Wakan Tanka (Sioux Nation)
  • Certainty of an HP borrowed from another person.
  • _________________? (fill in the blank)

Addiction and Your Inner Woman

women's addiction programInside every woman there is an inner woman. She is the woman who you could be. She’s the little girl you were and would have grown up to be… if only. If only there hadn’t been all the nonsense, the problems, the craziness that came into your life. If only you’d had better luck, made better choices, started out in better circumstances.

She is ultimately good, this inner woman. A good friend. A good wife. A good mother, daughter, worker, thinker, helper. A good person.

She’s the “you” that you know is in there. The “you” that you want to become. And, I swear, she’s in there. I’ve seen so many women reconnect with her here at Dee’s House.

It isn’t always easy to get to her, to uncover her, to bring her out. In fact, sometimes it’s really challenging. Sometimes there are set backs, relapses, mistakes. But the great thing about her is, she’s always there. She’s always ready to emerge, whenever you’re ready.

This process can be frightening. It can feel like she brings a lot of expectation, a lot of responsibility. And that can be a scary thing. At least it can seem like it is. But if you’re willing to be honest and vulnerable all of these negative emotions can be a faint memory as you integrate her back into your life.

It’s actually easier than you might think. Because when she does emerge it means you’ve let yourself off the hook, you’ve forgiven yourself, and you’ve grown. You’ll discover that you actually feel comfortable in your own skin. Because it is the authentic you. You will have realized that the person you became and the behaviors you exhibited while using alcohol or drugs isn’t the real you at all. And definitely not who you want to be.

You’ll feel connected to other people. People who will love the real you. Because it’s real.

If you’re struggling with alcohol or drugs, come to Dee’s House. Let us help you find that inner you.