Pain Body Power of Now Dee's House

The Power of Now: Pain Body

pain body power of now

Image by: Paco S

Recently, we read a portion of one of our favorite books during group, The Power of Now. We then had a discussion with the women here. Our talk felt so important, we felt we should share some of its points here on our blog!

What this group entails is reading through a chapter or area of a book and having a conversation with the “angels” (women) at Dee’s House and its staff. Our angels are free to question, dissect and add to any ideas or concepts. All we ask is that they keep an open mind and an open heart.

Summary of What We Read

We read Past Pain: Dissolving the Pain Body (starting on page 29). Eckhart Tolle (the author) describes in this chapter, the “Pain Body”. “Accumulated pain… a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind.” Every alcoholic can relate to this. In summary of this idea: When we experienced pain, our minds (subconsciously) created a kind of alter-ego (kind of like The Hulk). This alter ego is the result of a spiritually lacking tally that we have taken since the day we were born. Each time we felt pain, that alter-ego took note and surprisingly grew with each pain experienced.


Bruce Banner (sorry for the male comic book references there is just is not a female reference for this one – boo Marvel) becomes The Hulk when he is angry and provoked. The Hulk is a manifestation of Bruce Banner’s pain body. Similarly, our pain bodies feed from our new pain and will actually manifest situations through us to create destruction so it can feed. We then end up hurting ourselves and those around us.

Take Away

What we found as we read and discussed: The pain body cannot feed on joy, contentment or your spirituality. All these things let your light shine. Like getting sober, the first step to recovering from your pain body is to acknowledge and accept that it is there, shed light onto it. This may be uncomfortable at first, to come to terms with your pain body and triggers but ask yourself something. Would you rather be uncomfortable now or forever?

Your pain body feeds on your alcoholism, your addiction and your actions when you are active in them. It gets more and more destructive as it grows stronger and the person who suffers the most is you.


Unlike Bruce Banner, we have the opportunity to deal with our pain body. We can call bull-shit at any time. With the help of people who are conquering their pain body one day at a time.

Dee's House Stinking Thinking

“Stinking Thinking” – Short Tale of A Woman On Drugs

stinking thinkin

Image by: Angelina Litvin

Women and drugs are a lethal combination when it comes to thinking with any clarity. We have all heard the phrase “stinking thinking” as it pertains to an alcoholic or addict essentially going off the rails in order to use again. Her brain just starts telling her things in order to get what it wants – more alcohol or drugs.

But we recently ran into another version of that and it was with a young woman who contacted us through our website. This young woman had been using heroin for a few years. She first started doing it to help with her meth addiction and then became addicted to the heroin to the point where it had destroyed her relationships with her family and was now threatening her job. She was using more and more which was also costing her more and more which became another problem. She contacted Dee’s House because she finally felt she needed treatment.

So, where does the “stinking thinking” come in?

Here is where: when we spoke to her (through emails only, she refused to call even though we gave our founder’s personal cell number) she told us all about the problems heroin was causing her; but when we asked her whether she was ready to come into treatment, she explained she could not unless Dee’s House could also take her dog – a small.

Our staff asked if she had someone who could look after the dog and she replied, “No, there is no one.” Since she was not on good terms with her family, they would not take her dog and she did not have friends whom she could trust.

First, what does not being able to trust her friends tell you? However, we digress, that is another story. How much did she really want treatment? We understand that she loved her dog, half our staff have dogs! But if you have a life threatening disease and need treatment, you get treatment and you do not let your dog stand in the way. Ultimately, it is not that she could not live without the dog, or that the dog would have missed her, it was an excuse not to get into treatment. She created a roadblock to treatment, a barrier; and a bogus one at that. Dee’s House does not allow dogs because we only have a maximum of six people in our program at any time. It is small and intimate, so the women here can focus on recovery and themselves.

They need to be their focus, themselves, not a dog. It is also unfair to the other women.

We could hear how she was going over it in her head, telling herself what a good person she is. How she loved this little doggy and can not simply abandon it. However, finding someone to look after your dog for a few weeks is not abandoning it. If she needed an operation and were going to a hospital, what would she have done then? You can not take the dog there. This is also treatment.

So, you see, there the stinking thinking that helps you use, then there is the stinking thinking that keeps you from getting help.

Of course, we knew she was not serious about getting treatment anyway. One reason was she just would not call us no matter how many times we asked her to. We told her she can not bring the dog, we explained why. She has not emailed us since.

Who’s Your Daddy

treatment center orange county

For many of us, when we get sober, connecting with a higher power seems absolutely daunting. Whether it is because we do not believe in one, do no know one or simply lost touch with the one(s) we had to begin with.  Whatever reason, giving our lives over to something greater than ourselves is detrimental to getting and keeping sobriety. So… who’s your daddy (momma)?

While in our addiction/alcoholism, we relied on our own understanding and this didn’t work out for us. We made hasty and unreliable decisions. Our decisions may have seemed well thought out or well-planned but for some reason, we ended up in a place of incomprehensible demoralization. What now? Where do we go? Where do we turn? The answer is to something other than ourselves. This doesn’t mean giving up your logical sense; it means turning it over to a power who knows better. Any power, any being, any group conscience that you know has your best interest at heart; it lead and guide you into a place of serenity.

This idea, we know, sounds entirely vague and there is a good reason for it. The concept of a higher power is not one size fits all. If the higher power does not fit, you must acquit (we’re so so sorry about that pun). With the vast amount of religions and faith based practices in our ever evolving world, how could one possibly be expected to be given a carbon copy? Much like choosing a sponsor (someone who has what you want), choosing a higher power has to fit your needs. And guess what! Your higher power can change and it can evolve as you do in your recovery. This evolution can possibly come from your growth and from your understanding of yourself and your higher power. Whichever power you subscribe to now, may be a more comprehensible version of itself as time passes. Do not feel that your decision is as set in stone as the Ten Commandments.

Let’s ponder together about YOUR higher power:

  • Am I agnostic/atheist because I’m angry at my current higher power (think this one through because the one you have may be a good fit and you simply have to make an amends to him/her)?
  • Was my HP (higher power) pinned to me at birth?
  • What do I need from my HP?
  • What does a power greater than myself look like? Is he/she/it all knowing?  Does my HP have my best interest at heart? Can I TRUST my HP? Can my HP trust me?
  • What does LOVE look like to me (Wowza.. big question – What does unconditional LOVE mean to you? Where can you find that)?

Write out your answers to these questions and think them over, talk them through with someone and ask them who their HP is.

HP’s come in all shapes and sizes. Below is a list of the HP’s we’ve come across. Maybe you can borrow one for now. Our intent is to show you how different everyone’s HP is and how this doesn’t have to be a stressful decision. Happy hunting!

  • God (the Christian God)
  • The Prophet Muhammad
  • Mother Earth
  • The Ocean
  • The Universe
  • AA as a Whole
  • The Human Connection
  • The Force (yes – The Force from Star Wars)
  • Gautama Buddah (more precisely his teachings)
  • Someone’s Horse
  • A Doorknob
  • Confucius
  • The Goddess
  • Dayside/Nightside (vampires)
  • Jesus (the son of God)
  • Wakan Tanka (Sioux Nation)
  • Certainty of an HP borrowed from another person.
  • _________________? (fill in the blank)